i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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