i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
