Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
