Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize