One girl and one boy is just not enough.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
