Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
