school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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