More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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