You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
