That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
