you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
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It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize