last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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