Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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