Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
