I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize