Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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