They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
