I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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