I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
