bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I supernannyed him into submission
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
