it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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