im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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