At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
