remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
