I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
