Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize