i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
3 2 1 whiskey
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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