Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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