I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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