this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize