Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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