they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
