It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
