Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
