We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
