glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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