he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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