rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
