Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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