peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
