My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.