Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
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mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.