i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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