Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
