Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
