i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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