Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
