Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize