I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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