There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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