Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
