One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
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You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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