Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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