you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
