Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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