I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
