I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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