I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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